Endings and Beginnings

Another summer has come and gone. I cannot believe how fast that this summer flew. I miss the west coast so much. Relationships were strengthened and new ones were established. There was such a reason for me to be out there this summer. I could not have been anywhere else.

I was reminded the other day that how when we are trying to figure out where God wants us to go, we always question if some other way would have been better. Then after the experience we realize, and even during, that is right where we were supposed to be. :) Woodleaf was such an incredible and freeing experience for me. I am confident that I have found a little piece of what I was created to do. I loveeeeeee working with High schoolers. And I really like Young Life. Will I be apart of Young life? I have no idea.... I plan to pursue it, but I am not sure what God has planned for me. I also know that I love being in the position to encourage students. In this case this summer it was by means of a ropes course. I loved it! I too want to keep pursuing options in that field and see where God takes me. :)

I miss the people out there. The community was amazing. It made me miss Berry and the community I had there... But the community at the leaf opened my heart to other believers and I have gained more brothers and sisters that I miss dearly. As that ended, Berry is about to begin. I have this feeling that this year is going to be incredible. Something that will always be remembered in the hearts of many. I have no idea why I feel this way, but I am STOKED!!!!! :)

Please Please Pleaseeeeeee ask me more about what I learned this summer and I will be so happy to update you! :)

Peace!

Rejoicing everyday

So in the land of beautiful California, I have been working my tail off and having a lot of fun. I have ventured down the freeways of Cali and gotten myself lost only once. :D I have made it to the gym to strengthen my leg and my entire body. And of course I have filed papers and never have had so many paper cuts in my life nor have I ever been attacked by a hole puncher, TWICE. :) haha. Its nice to be on summer break, but I miss Berry, and even more the people of Berry. I am so excited for next semester. I will be coming back more confident and jumping into a leadership position as a first year mentor and continuing to learn and take part in what is happening at BOLD.

For this summer I am so excited for Woodleaf! I have been able to talk to some of the people that I will be working with, and they all seem pretty cool!

Well one of the reasons I am writing this blog is because of what I saw on Wed morning. I was making the commute to work. It was half raining, and sunny. This weather has been diving me crazy and has been so abnormal it has made history. But as I was driving there was this absolutely gorgeous rainbow. My mouth was hanging open for about a min and then I started laughing and thinking about God's promises, aka the covenant that was made and the rainbow that symbolizes it. My friend the night before had mentioned something interesting about rejoicing. So as I was thinking about these promises I remembered what she had said to me. Rejoicing is not just a response to a blessing in our lives, but it is something that we must do daily. It was a cool moment.

Ok well it is late for me and I have to work tomorrow. Yay for 7 am mornings. :/ hahahah but YAY FOR MONEY!!! :D

Im back

Hello World.

It is I, Laura Waitt. I am officially back. And what does that mean? After quite an interesting semester, physically and mentally, I have reached a place where I can say that I am back to my state of mind where I was right before I broke my ankle. It has taken quite some time, but I overcame it. And that is one of my most accomplishing things of this semester.

It feels good to be able to say that I am doing well and mean it. There are still some frustrations, like school for example, but that is to be expected.

This summer is going to be really cool. I'll be in California working as an intern for my aunts company. :) Well its not 100% yet, but pretty definite. Annddddd that even cooler thing is ill be working at Woodleaf. Working on a ropes course, with youth, at a younglife camp. :) :)

I guess I don't really have much else to say. Just trying to get through the rest of this semester with a good and awesome attitude. :)

Your Name Is Power

So as these last few weeks here at Berry wind down, the glimpses of summer are beginning to shimmer in the distance. I am getting really excited for summer, but I am more consumed with finishing strong this semester. I have not performed as well academically as I had hoped, but I am not in any kind of danger, which is good, but Im still not exactly happy with where I'm at as far as grades go.

I had a wonderful weekend. I went on a retreat with my small group. We had no idea where were going, or what we were doing. So when we pulled up to a camping place, that is pretty much when we all found out we were going camping. I loved being outside next to the river. It reminded me so much of Czech, the first few min of our first journal session I could only think about The canoeing trip. I was so anxious though. There were little things of very little relevance that were bugging me, and I just wanted to stand up and move around. I came to the conclusion that I am in the process of seeking/wrestling with my current condition and relationship with God. I also discovered that I have a tendency to put God in a "body" giving him Human-like characteristics, which is so far wrong. But thats a start to continue seeking and to correct my thinking. And though that I desire to become secure in the Lord and be confident. Overall the weekend was fantastic, and being with people I love, playing silly games, gazing at stars, and having fellowship was awesome.

There is a song that is stuck in my head right now. One of the lyrics is " Jesus your name is power" and that strikes a chord in my brain. In my being. I just felt like putting that as my tittle in case you were wondering.

My goal for me as of now looks something like this. 1. To realize and build upon the foundation that my first freedom is where I out my mind. 2. To correct my thinking of myself, my Lord and those around me. 3. To completely let go. 4. To realize that it will all be impossible on the account of my own efforts.

What i just wrote about might be a bit over the place, but that is how my brain thinks. :)

Cant be the player and scorekeeper

Ok. So there is something that I just had to write about. An idea that I had. Something that God has been trying to communicate to me for weeks. Well probably for a while, but more prominent these past few weeks.

In this Bible study I am doing, there is a chapter that talks about "death to self." And in a sense it means to finally say "Ok. I am not in control of my life. I am not in charge." For me to say that means to say to God, "I know that I have no idea what is best for my life. You do. So take it. Here you go." And it hit me. How in the world could I know what is best for my life if I didn't create me. I didn't design my body, or my personality, or anything. So that means that my creator, the one that did do all of what I did not do, knows what is best for me. Interesting huh?

Oh ok. So the title. Well Im the kind of person who likes to have an example, something simple that represents a bigger picture. So this is what I came up with.

I still want to fight God for control. Funny how I know that I cant, and dont want it. I still fight for it. So how do i get myself to understand that its not good for me? Well.........

You are playing a basketball game. Sweat dripping down your face, the defender is playing tight d on you, jump stop, shake him and you are about to pull up hit that sweet three-pointer. But wait! As you check the scoreboard, you think wait a second there should be more time. No way that there is only 30 seconds left. But you have no control over it. So why not just go and run the scoreboard yourself. Then for sure nothing could be wrong! It would be perfect. Hahah. You are playing in the game though. There is no way that you could be running to scoreboard too. You are the player, not the scorekeeper. To me it makes sense. Not sure if it does to anyone else. But whatever. :D

18 more days until I can walk. I think a broken ankle was the only way to get my attention. The only way to slow me down. To learn how to observe, and to understand more. Not everything of course. Just more about who I am. I am not in control or in charge. I am simply the player and not the scorekeeper. The creation, not the creator.

22 Days

So it is Spring break. It has been really nice to be home. The only part that stinks is the stairs in my house. Since they are carpeted it has been a tad bit more difficult. But thats not a big deal really. I sometimes camp out in the study where there is a ballin flat screen. :D haha.

Im trying to find the balance of out and aboutness, and having down time. Being at Berry, I am on the go regardless if I am on crutches. Sure I have slowed down a lot, but I am going as much as I can on my crutches. Now at home I don't have to make the walk from Kranernt to Evans and back again. :) Its nice.

I have 22 days until my Dr. appt, and hopefully I will be walking again. I can do it. All I have to do is push through. This time has been difficult. And I have been struggling, but constantly being reminded to look to my King above. That probably has been the most difficult for me. To keep my eyes fixed on Him. On Jesus. Im so tired down to the world and the things of it sometimes, its hard for me to look above. That is what I want to work on. In these next 22 days, and beyond that, my focus should be above. And thats where I desire to go from here. Learning how to and striving to look above.

What do I need?

So here I am. In a place that I despise. A place where I am exhausted and weary, selfish and depressed. At the moment I am a bit more chilled out, laying on my couch watching Ghost Whisperer, and a few other friday night favorites. While talking about what was going on in my head today I was asked, " What is it that you need?" I don't know. I have no idea. What do I need? Well walking anytime soon cant be the answer. This is my reality, and it is not changing. So in this reality, what do I need? I have friends bending over backwards for me. I am so grateful. The bitterness that I am feeling is not directed towards anyone outside of me. Its inside and directed to me. Why am I mad at me? I don't know. There are a lot of emotions that I am dealing with. I dont think that this blog makes much sense, its probably all over the place.